how bad are we?

We believe that man was created in holiness, under the law of his Maker; but by voluntary transgression fell from that holy and happy state; in consequence of which all mankind are now sinners, not by constraint, but choice; being by nature utterly void of that holiness required by the law of God, positively inclined to evil; and therefore under just condemnation to eternal ruin, without defense or excuse.
—New Hampshire Baptist Confession, 1833

When I was in junior high, I got an A on a paper about total depravity based on our reading of William Golding’s Lord of the Flies.

There was some sense in which my engagement with this project was based on my Baptist upbringing. But I also recognized myself, and my own ability to wish the worst on my classmates, who teased me about my bookishness.

We have all wished the worst on some one at some time, even though we have different conceptions of what the worst may be. At the heart of this desire is a selfishness we can not escape, and which only hints at the darkness of our heart.

This is not to say we are incapable of doing good, given the restraining influence of God’s common grace reflected in government and family and other institutions of his design. No, the problem is not that we are wholly evil, but that we are never wholly good.

The self creeps in, so that our desires and decisions reveal how we constantly place ourselves on the throne of our own heart. This is idolatry. We believe things are the way we see them, and we see them the way we want them to be. In this way, we remake God in our image (Romans 1:23-25), choosing from his laws those that serve our own interests and from his attributes those that make us the most comfortable.

That’s why I’ve argued we are required to worship him but are incapable of doing so. If we acknowledge his holiness, however, we immediately become aware of our innumerable transgressions (Isaiah 6:1-6).

Sin, in this biblical sense, is a matter of both our nature and our choices. We are sons of Adam (Romans 5:12), conceived in sin (Psalm 51:4). But we are also people who choose to sin every day (James 1:15).

And sin is not our desire or decision to do bad things to other people. It is our desire to put ourselves first, usurping the power and privilege of God himself. Who can honestly say they have kept God’s law, which Jesus defined as loving God with all our heart and loving our neighbor as ourselves (Matthew 22:38-40)?

The Bible does not mince words about this. It says the heart is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9). It says even our most righteous deeds and aspirations are but filthy rags before the holiness of God (Isaiah 64:6).

This uncomfortable truth is even more uncomfortable when we consider the penalty, not just death (Romans 6:23), but alienation from God himself. In fact, we don’t even have to wait until we die to experience it.

We are dead now, even as we live (Colossians 2:13).

There is no spark of divinity in dead people. There is no will to do good, or ability to do so. If we are dead in our trespasses and sin (Ephesians 2:1-3) we have no faith and no future. We cannot even desire God or his righteousness unless we are made alive in Christ Jesus. We are slaves to sin (Romans 6:17).

And we will stay dead, were it not for the grace of God. Justice is what we deserve, and its demands are severe. Hell is reserved for those who disobey God’s law and reject his sovereignty (Luke 12:5, Psalm 9:17).

That’s all of us. We live in rebellion against the throne of a holy God, even though our wretchedness should make fall in terror before him.

Our refusal to do so proves the point.