what makes you think you are qualified?

Titus 1:5 This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— 6 if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. 7 For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, 8 but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. 9 He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

Two biblical text deal with the qualifications of elders, one in Titus 1: 5-9 and the other in I Timothy 3:1-7. Basically, these qualifications fall into three categories:

Personal character. He is to be sober, self-controlled, upright and disciplined. Some of these characteristics are stated in the negative: he is not to be arrogant, quick-tempered, violent, or greedy, for example.

Public reputation. He is to be “above reproach,” “well-thought of by outsiders,” “hospitable,” nor, of course, should he be thought of by others as not possessing the attributes of personal character that are listed.

Demonstrated ability. He can manage the church, because he can manage his own household, and he has shown that he is able “able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.”

Clearly this is awkward to write about, and I suggest the council should interview my wife and children, since they know more about this than I do. But I will make an effort to speak to these issues here, hoping not to be puffed up and “fall into the condemnation of the devil,” about which Timothy warns us.

Family matters

First, I find it interesting that an elder’s relationship with his family is suggested by both texts as a test of both character and leadership. Titus says his children, for example, should be, “believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination.”

By the grace of God, and with the help of a godly wife (just one, to be clear), I think I’m entirely safe to assert that none of my children could be accused of debauchery or insubordination. They are recognized as good kids with high standards who work hard and try to do the right thing. This in itself says something about a man’s ability to “give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.” My kids would certainly tell you I’ve done that.

But the standard is higher than this. They must also believe. Again, I’ve had lots of help here (thanks, Rob!) but my sons are all faithful, a source of great joy to Katie and I, in that they love the Lord and seek to serve him.

I think my daughter tries to do this too, but I’m less certain about what she believes. She is a woman of immense character, but it broke my heart when she left the faith. It still does, although I no longer feel responsible for her adult decisions. I still long for the fellowship we once enjoyed about the things of God.

The private me

The elder is also supposed to be self-controlled, reflected in his ability to keep his temper and hold his liquor. Since I don’t drink, I’ve had no problems with drunkenness. And I’m not an angry man, of this I’m somewhat certain.

Some of this comes from the leading of the Holy Spirit, on whom I depend for all these things. But I was also blessed to have a father who was not an angry man; in fact, I can count on one hand all the time I say my father angry in his whole life, a miracle of grace given that both his parents struggled with alcohol, which is part of why I don’t drink.

I expect my kids could fill up two hands easily, but I’m sure they think of me as generally even-tempered, gentle even, and generous. Again, I had a good example, a gift from a Sovereign God who knows the weaknesses of my heart.

Here’s the weakness: while I’m reasonably self-controlled, I’m often not disciplined. While I usually can keep myself from doing bad things, I’m not nearly as good at making myself do good things. I will deal with this more theologically in a later essay on sanctification (What do I do now?), but in my life this struggle shows up in my struggles with diet and exercise or my inconsistency in private devotion or in my limitless capacity for procrastination. Fortunately I’m capable of being extremely focused and productive.

Of all these, the biblical expectation that I should be disciplined is the toughest for me to affirm. I might give myself a C- on this and a B+ on everything else. But God’s standard is holiness, and all I can say is that I understand this better and desire it more than at any time in my life. Being conformed to the image of Christ is a process I take seriously, and which I understand, like salvation itself, to be entirely a matter of grace.

The public me

People know me as hospitable, I think. It is a discipline Katie and I have been committed to for almost three decades. We enjoy sharing what we have and celebrating with others. Most of the people who will read this have been to our home, and if not, you are completely welcome.

Above reproach? Well, you tell me, since I don’t know what you are thinking. I believe I am well thought of by others, but that’s why the ordination process in our church requires a vote by the membership. I generally try not to think too much about what others think about me; in fact, I remind myself often that they probably aren’t thinking about me at all.

One thing both passages require, and which Titus mentions in chapter 2 as well, is being sober, not in the sense of not drunk, but in the sense of being serious about things that are serious. This is so, as Timothy also suggests, he is able to show himself “in all respects to be a model of good works, and in [his] teaching show integrity, dignity, and sound speech. (Titus 2:8-9)”

Teaching I take seriously, and have since I taught my first class of 6 year old boys 44 years ago.